Take a single moment from any K-State volleyball match and you can see it.

Sometimes it's an elaborate fist pump, an encouraging yell to her teammates, and almost always, it's simply her presence on the court.

It's a passion, a love for the game that senior Lauren Mathewson has brought to Ahearn Field House for four years as a Wildcat.

But it's also a release. She's back home —back to her spot on the court, and the position she has been absent from for days leading up to each match.

So yes, Lauren Mathewson enjoys each moment on the court that she can soak up, because after the match her wait begins, and the pain returns.

But on the court, she does her best to keep the pain to herself.

"I've never been the one to ask more from my teammates," she said. "It's been hard for me to look at them and tell them that I'm going to need help from them this game."

But that's just the way Mathewson carries herself.

It's a high standard, and she embraces the role of an intense and vocal leader on the volleyball court — she always has. It's her nature, and it has been ever since she arrived on the K-State campus as a feisty and motivated freshman from Park Hill South High School in Kansas City, Mo.

"You know how she feels," head coach Suzie Fritz says. "You don't have to ask."

But what those outside the volleyball program may not understand is just how difficult it has been for Mathewson to consistently play at the level she does, one that has earned her a permanent spot as one of the most prolific liberos in K-State history.

She will end her career as a Wildcat ranked second in career digs, and fifth in Big 12 history.

And she did so while playing the final two years at K-State on two bad knees.


Mathewson-The Passionate Leader

She says it's always been the way she plays. Vocal. Intense. Passionate.

You name it. It's part of her game and who she is.

So when she began her career as a Wildcat in 2007, Mathewson did her best to stand out on the court.

"I knew I had to fight," she said. "I knew I had to work hard. I knew it wasn't going to be an easy ride, and so I knew going into it that I expected a lot from myself. From the very beginning I was going to work the hardest that I could day-in and day-out, because I wanted to be one of the six on the court."

That ambitious drive to succeed was felt from her first days in Manhattan, but what she didn't anticipate was that her emotional and passionate approach would eventually become a hindrance as she tried to perfect her game.

Fritz quickly took a notice to her young freshman's fiery approach and her frustration that came with the transition into collegiate volleyball.

"It was to the point of it being debilitating," Fritz said. "Early on, she didn't manage her perfectionism. She wanted everything to be perfect and this is not a game that allows you to do that."

But she grew, and she learned, playing in all 119 sets in her freshman season.

During her sophomore campaign, Mathewson led the Wildcats with 505 digs, ranking fourth in school history for a single season. She had eight matches with 20 or more digs and received Big 12 defensive Player of the Week honors in October of her sophomore season.

"I was starting to realize that I was a good player and I was starting to believe in myself and starting to have confidence in myself," Mathewson said. "I think that helped a lot when I was having a down game or something, I could be simple, and tell myself that I am a great player and I can do this because I have done it before."

But after two complete seasons, the pain in her knees was becoming too much for her to handle and she knew something needed to be done.


The Surgery

Before her junior season began, Mathewson underwent surgery to try and heal the nagging but growing tendonitis condition in both her knees. She had played a combined 243 sets in just two years, and the abuse eventually took a painful toll.

"It just gradually got worse and worse," Mathewson said. "The pain got so bad that I couldn't practice."

However the surgery, which tried to promote healing by scratching the bone in her knees, failed and the pain only worsened, forcing her to find a way to alter the amount of strain she put them through.

So during each practice for two years, she has learned to embrace a different role from a different perspective, and watched her teammates from the sideline.

She guided them, giving support during practices, and in doing so eventually discovered a new passion within the game of volleyball — coaching.

"I realized I get so much joy from teaching other people and kind of helping other people out and seeing them succeed." Mathewson said. "I think that is such an awesome thing to see, and I think that is when I realized I really want to do this."

It wasn't an immediate transition though. Her competitive nature tore at her while sitting on the scorer's table each day, doing all she could to feel involved with the growth of her teammates.

"I want to be out there," Mathewson said. "I'm missing out when I'm not in practice and building those relationships and getting to know the girls better on the court. It's something I have always had to battle emotionally, just because I want to be out there and it's hard to watch your teammates having as much fun as they do in practice every single day."

But life works in funny ways, and Mathewson knows that.

Her sudden inspiration to coach, which was sparked from helping freshman defensive specialist Natalia Dobrosz learn different receiving angles in a practice earlier this season, led her to approach Fritz and tell her she wanted to become a coach herself one day.

Now, she plans on attending graduate school to become a graduate assistant volleyball coach.


Lasting Legacy

For Mathewson, her legacy comes down to her attitude. The approach she came into the program with, and one that has impacted the team consistently for four years.

It was there, each night, each practice, both on the court, and came later in her career from the practice sideline — leading one to believe that perhaps her coaching career started while she was still in the midst of her senior season.

"I don't think there is any question that her interest has peaked since she has had a different perspective," Fritz said. "I (told her) 'if you want to be a great coach you have to think of yourself as a great teacher,' and I think she likes that about it. She wants to help people and she wants to share what she knows and what she learns."

And she has learned a lot. Throughout four years, Mathewson has grown into one of the most decorated defense players in K-State history by learning to tame and manage her intensity and use it as a teaching tool.

So as she leaves K-State, she wants her legacy to be just that, her passion for the game of volleyball.

"I just want them to remember me for intensity and leadership," Mathewson said. "And just the passion I have for this sport, because I really do love this sport. It just means a lot to me."


Photo - The Manhattan Mercury